Wrestling with God

In our 4.5 years here in Israel, we've found it to be quite challanging. Thankfully we came with the mindset that it wouldn't be easy, that we were not coming here for a cushy life, and were prepared for the worse. The fact that we were "psyched" for the battle, made us put everything that came our way, in perspective, better than we'd expected. However, it has been a battle. And we've seen so many come and go. I've struggled with wanting to leave more times than I can count. All this time though, I've had it all wrong. I thought I was wrestling with the enemy who didn't want us here. I thought we were against the advasary.

Recently while going through another round in the ring, I thought, this time I'm not going down! One of those many sleepless nights on my knees/face crying out to God, He showed me something. Israel means to wrestle with God. It was if God opened my eyes to a new perspective on Israel. Before Jacob returned to Israel to make things right with his brother, he had to wrestle a long and painful battle with God Himself! Before the Israelites could return to Israel after their years in slavery, in Egypt, they had to wander in the wilderness. For every Exodos, there's been a "rights of passage" ritual of sorts. When Jacob limped away from that wrestling with God, it changed the name of who we are forever....we wrestle with God.

Its a known fact that it is no easy thing to become Israeli. Blame it on who you will; Ministry of Interior, beaurocratic red tape, spiritual warfare or whoever. I now believe it is all about wrestling with God. And I think it is all good! Anything fought for is appreciated. And we have something to prove. How bad do we want it? What will we sacrifice for it? Will you give up or look God in the eye and say " I won't quit until You bless me!"

I'm not sure how many times God will ask me to step back into the ring. For now, He's blessed me and given me a time of rest! Baruch HaShem! I'm limping but dancing for joy all the same! Blessed are You oh Lord my God Who in Your great Mercy and Love, have brought me into the Land of Israel.