Ten Minute Pity Parties

There have been times since coming to Israel, that I've been ready to pack up and head back to Egypt (America) while missing my leeks and garlic. I call them my ten minute pity parties. I spend a few brief tears whining about all I left behind and all I miss and all I hate about Israel. Usually I vent to God, to my husband, to my friends, or whoever will listen. Then its off my chest and I'm back to waving my Israeli flag and singing patriotic praises! Over time these pity parties have lessened. I've missed much less from America and my "miss list" has gotten smaller. I've adapted quite well despite not being fluent yet in Hebrew. Then just as I thought I'd fully adapted...I got hit with the biggest pity party yet! I was so close to closing the door on Israel all together. Its left me with a most bitter aftertaste in my mouth that won't go away. This ten minute pity party has turned into a ten day pity party. I'm an optimist by nature and don't like the negative funk I've been in and can't seem to shake it off. It started when our son, an IDF soldier was in a hummer accident. Our son is an over-the -top excellent soldier, having been given 5 soldier of excellence awards! He was nominated for a very high honor, before he had this hummer accident. I've watched him put his blood, sweat, and tears into this country. I have watched him suffer and still go the extra miles for his love of Israel and because of his loyalty. He has sacrificed and given with every fiber of his being. Never complaining or taking gimilim, never quitting when he could have walked away. (army Dr gave him the chance to get out completely due to his health problems) He stayed the course and crossed the finish line. Many would agree that "Tzadik" would be a fair description of him! So after the investigation of the hummer accident, it was determinned that our son was without fault and the case was closed. Sadly his award was demoted due to the mark on his record, but he was still given a very high honor for the entire Homefront Command by the commanding general! The army has recognized his accomplishments! Living in Israel has painfully taught me to deal with corrupt beauacracy and inconveniences beyond the normal human capacity for patience! But the army is now reopening the case and charging my son with crimes! It has pushed me beyond my level of tolerance and I have not gotten off the pity party train since the charges were made! My son who has given his all and more, is now being faced with losing his driver's license and living with a horrible mark on his record. The army is not providing him with defense and our legal fees will not be returned even if he wins the case. His trial is only a month away and we can't come up with the $10,000 for a lawyer! He was offered a plea bargin that he first turned down but is now considering! My son is willing to lie and say he was "guilty" even after being proven innocent in the first trial because he's been put between a rock and a hard place. The army needs a "guilty" plea to get money from the insurance to cover the cost of repairs on the hummer. So despite countless awards from the army, now the army repays his service with threats and trials. This is the thanks his country, his military gives him? The stress and unjustice of it all makes me want to pack and never look back! So just as I'm looking at one way flight fares, news from America crosses my screen and it isn't much prettier there. I chose the lesser of all evils and decide to stay here in Israel, but our son talks of leaving and settling back in America. He's so hurt and feels betrayed. He's just given 3 and a half years of his life to a country that thanks him by giving him an unfair mark on his near perfect record. If they take his driver's license, even if they don't...he has to live with this on his record forever. Not to mention the stress it has put him under. I spent no less than 3 hours yesterday making copies of papers and going from one lawyer to another. It has consumed us! He has saved the army far more than the 100,000 NIS in damages to that hummer! He has repaired vehicles, repaired fences, repaired equipment, gotten vehicles unstuck that other drivers got stuck, he has cleaned up bases and planted flowers using his own money to buy flowers! He has donated equipment and supplies, painted with his own paint, etc etc. He's lost sleep and served on days or nights off. He's skipped meals and showers and worked sick and injured. I could go on and on. He signed on more time after his required service because he knew they desperately need combat drivers. And what a horrible shock after all this in three and a half years, to be leaving the army with a trial that cuts to the deepest part of his heart...his driver's license. This isn't just taking his priveledge to drive, it is making it very difficult for him to get a job as a driver, or a job anywhere for that matter. If its God's will for my son to return to America, so be it. But I'd much rather it be with a sweet taste in his mouth of Israel and not a bitter one. I'd much rather him be running to something and not from something. Either way, I'll miss him so very much. I'm not sure when this pity party will end if ever.